Christ's Face, Words, and Actions

                This last Sunday’s Gospel couldn’t have been more perfect to relate to the work I am doing here and the children I encounter every day. It was Mark 9:30-37:

Jesus and his disciples left from there and began a journey through Galilee, but he did not wish anyone to know about it. He was teaching his disciples and telling them, "The Son of Man is to be handed over to men and they will kill him, and three days after his death the Son of Man will rise." But they did not understand the saying, and they were afraid to question him. They came to Capernaum and, once inside the house, he began to ask them, "What were you arguing about on the way?" But they remained silent. They had been discussing among themselves on the way who was the greatest. Then he sat down, called the Twelve, and said to them, "If anyone wishes to be first, he shall be the last of all and the servant of all." Taking a child, he placed it in the their midst, and putting his arms around it, he said to them, "Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me."

Since I have arrived here I have had to remember every day the slogan of the Salesian Lay Missioner: Seeing Christ in the Face of a Child. He is there so very present and yearning for love. When it comes to the children here the idea of receiving them and them being received lovingly and with open arms is somewhat foreign. The majority of them are here not because their families can’t afford to provide for them or because they have no families but rather as a result of severe abuse, neglect, abandonment, unsafe/unhealthy living situation, and other family issues. They have not been accepted or loved the way they deserve and the effects of the deprivation show through every day. It is sometimes hard for them to accept the love that we have for them. In the past when I read this passage I envisioned a joyful, innocent little child who just wants to play and learn and explore. But, the children here although very joyful and playful have had some of their innocence and trust ripped away from them by those they are supposed to be able to depend on the most. This Bible passage is a challenge for me and everyone else to not just accept that innocent, trusting, joyful child but each and every child where they are at and with everything that they have been through. In order to see Christ’s face in them and accept Him in them I have to remember that they are not perfect and are often very broken. I have to hold them when they break down crying because the homework is difficult. I have to make chores and clothes washing a little more fun so they can experience the joy of childhood. I have to sit with them and wait for them to talk when they shut down because they are in trouble. I have to tell them I love them after they have tried to beat me up verbally and occasionally physically. More than anything though I am blessed to get to do all of these things every day. I get to remember what they have been through but see through that into their soft hearts full of love ready to be given and received. I get to put myself last because a child tells me they just want to spend time with me, asks for help with homework, wants to play, or has a bloody nose. I get to receive them in a way that others never did and remind them that they are worth loving, they have value, and that they are capable of being beautiful children of God.

More than any other week so far I have seen Christ’s face in these children through their actions, smiles, screams, and especially through their words. The first three weeks I didn’t have a good enough grasp on Spanish to actually have a conversation with any of the children. But, this week things have been a little bit different and I’ve been trying to ask the little ones questions about the book they are reading, their favorite classes at school, their homework, and even what they learned at mass on Sunday. It has been fun getting to know each of them on a more personal level and seeing their likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. On Sunday afternoon I was helping a young girl copy pictures on her paper using the window and one of the pictures was Christ on the cross. It reminded me of mass and so I started asking her and another girl about mass (since I was gone watching three of the girls dance in a parade that morning and had to go later that evening). When I asked one thing that they had learned at mass the other little girl said (in Spanish of course) “We need to listen to the word of God.” It was so simple yet profound and beautiful to hear from the mouth of a little 7-year-old. To know that the children are not always just going through the motions and playing with each other at mass but actually remember some things is so wonderful. This was especially great for this little girl who although very bright usually doesn’t know where her clothes or other possessions are and when you ask her often gives you no response at first but a blank stare.

A couple days later I was helping that same girl with her homework again but the other girl wasn’t around. She was tracing a picture of clouds, sun, porch, and children and I was asking her what they all meant in Spanish. When we got to the sky I asked her what the name was and if she liked them. She said yes and then when I asked her why she looked up and me and said, “Because that is where God is.” Wow was all that I could think and it brought a huge smile to my face. It probably helps that the word for sky and heaven is the same but I can tell that she recognizes where God is and that He is a loving person. These children need the hope that God and especially the resurrected Christ offer them. Lastly, yesterday after helping one of the girls wash her clothes we were in one of the rooms at the hogar and on the wall was a picture of Jesus. I asked her what she thought of Him or if she loved Him and her response was, “Yes God is my father and Jesus is my brother.” For this little girl who is very loving, affectionate, and yet often loud and forceful I was so very pleased and excited to hear her response. She in some way or another has learned that her true loving father is our Lord and savior. I pray and hope that these children’s hearts continue to grow and they not only know but truly believe in the love of God and can depend on Him, hope in Him, and rest in His arms.

Please continue to pray for the girls here, for healing, for their ability to trust, for their ability to be loved and accept the help that they want, and for their ability to be children despite everything they have endured. Please also pray for me and all of my fellow Salesian Lay Missioners both at this Hogar and elsewhere in the world as we work to be God’s hands and feet and receive every child in His name. Lastly, please pray for my grandmother who was in the hospital this week because of seizures as a result of her strokes a few years ago. The seizures are under control and she will be moved to a recovery center soon but she is elderly and there are still some struggles ahead.

Maria Auxiliadora de los Christianos… Ruega por Nosotros!

San Juan Bosco… Ruega por Nosotros!

In Christ,

~Michelle~

There are dogs and Mariachi singers in the church, 40 beautiful children, and a big reminder that one person can do something!

There are certain things that I have discovered here in Bolivia that are totally normal to most people but I am not used to. The churches in Bolivia usually have their doors open during the services and there are also a lot of stray dogs everywhere. One wouldn’t think that these two occurrences would be connected but my first mass in Montero Tom pointed to something and said look. I turned to see a stray dog wandering around inside the church. Since then I don’t think I have been to a single mass where there hasn’t been at least one dog that wanders in and out or comes in and stays the whole time. But, here that is normal and people aren’t usually easily distracted by it. Mass though is so beautiful and lively. This last weekend was Cochabamba day which included two marches/parades, two masses, party after party, and two days off of school. One of the girls invited me to go watch her and her senior classmates in the march with all of the schools around. I went with Hermana (Sister) Marlene and two of the senior girls to an area of Cochabamba near the airport. There were tons of people everywhere and just as many vendors trying to sell knickknacks and various types of food. Some would call it overwhelming but I just call it city life in Bolivia. Before the march began I stood with the girls, sisters, and some of the teachers. I started to feel like their mom there to cheer them on when two of the girls asked me to carry their stuff for them while they marched. I probably looked a little silly walking down the sidewalk with so many bags but being white I always stick out like a sore thumb anyway so I don’t mind. And if anyone asks I can just say “That’s what we do in America!” Haha I haven’t actually used that line but I know many other missioners who do in order to make the Bolivians think that they aren't as odd as they really are.Both of the masses that I attended at our beautiful church here in Itocta were filled with people and as an added bonus the music was played by a Mariachi band! In the past I have only thought of Mariachi bands playing at parties such as cincineras and holidays but was pleasantly surprised to see them in place of the choir at mass. I am really enjoying the Bolivian music that is played at mass which typically includes singing, guitars, and drums (even at the daily masses), even though I understand very little of what is being played. 

Two of the Salesian sisters here in Itocta. The one on the left is the cook for the community, really goofy, and adorable. This day was the one on the right's birthday so of course we celebrated and ate well. She is also funny, silly, and has taken to calling me Winnie the Pooh. 

I try to go to daily mass with the sisters every Tuesday and Thursday which consists of waiting outside at 6:30 with the sisters and a few of the girls from the Casa San Miguel (house for girls who used to be in the Hogar but are over 18 and are still being supported by donors) for Padre Pepe to pick us up in his red refurbished Bolivian van. Then he drives us to one of two nearby areas (Primera de Mayo or Pucharita) where there churches and other sisters from the same order. Living and working in the Hogar mass is a perfect and necessary opportunity for me to get away, spend some time with God in community with others, and remember my purpose and mission here. This week Monica and I went to town to work on my VISA paperwork and so I got to walk through part of the city to the terminal where there are many truffis/micros/taxis and even more people going every which way.  After about 10 minutes the 104 truffi finally showed up and I hopped in. By the time we were about half way home the truffi (which that size van in the U.S. would normally fit about 7 people) had at least 20 people including some who were standing. But anyway, I caught my truffi late so I was worried that I wouldn’t make it back in time to leave with the sisters for mass. As we arrived outside the Hogar I got out and started running hoping they were just on the other side of the church. I saw the red van with Padre standing outside the sliding door and shouted to him to ensure that he saw me. I was the last one in the van and we sped off to Pucharita on the bumpy dirt roads. Every time I am mass there is no doubt that I am with Salesians first because there is either a beautiful statue/image/wall painting of San Juan Bosco (St. John Bosco) and Maria Auxiliadora de los Cristianos (Mary Help of Christians) and secondly because every sister has at least one if not more children sitting next to her. The children love the sisters, look up to them, and want to be with them and learn from them.

Although I barely understood the readings at mass on Tuesday and had a hard time understanding the homily me and Monica read them in English later and prayed about them. The first reading which touched me the most was 1 Corinthians 12:12-26:

Brothers and sisters: As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one Body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit. Now the body is not a single part, but many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are Christ's Body, and individually parts of it.

Similarly while waiting to meet with someone about my VISA process at the archbishop’s office earlier in the day Monica had done Bible roulette and ended on Judith 1. This is the story of king Nebuchadnezzar sending his servants out to gather all of the people in his kingdom to create an army to fight in war against King Arphaxad. But, all of those people were afraid they wouldn’t win or didn’t want to join sides with him and refused to join resulting in their own eventual destruction. Both of these readings have a similar message and theme: each and every person can make a difference and does have an important role to fill/call to answer. Of course the call to be a Salesian Missioner is the part of the body of Christ and army for God that I am being asked to be at the moment. But more specifically working in an orphanage where it is sometimes one of me to 40 girls that one part seems so small but so necessary. Whether it is a sick little 8-year-old looking at me with tired eyes and very stuffy nose asking for tissue paper, another girl is needing homework help, someone else wants a book from the library, or many girls shouting that someone is at the door I often wish I could be in more place than one at once. Along with that I continually need to be patient with myself and my level of learning when it comes to Spanish because it’s hard when I find a girl crying or wanting something and can’t understand more than two or three words of their reasons why. These readings reminded me that although I am only one person I am part of such a huge mission to live and to love as Christ taught us. Like one person in an army I cannot do everything but it’s more important that I do something and do that something well. Although I may be just a hand I cannot deny everything that I am and everything I can do as a hand. Even when a little girl tells me “I don’t you’re your help” but is clearly struggling I know that I am essential to and part of the body of Christ. I need to take care of and be present to one girl at a time. I need to know that whether they are crying, screaming at me, laughing, jumping up and down, or struggling to read each and every word they are Christ on earth, Christ right in front of me yearning for love, acceptance, and healing. I need to remember that in all things I am only a vessel for Christ to work through and I can best be who I need to be when I let Him lead me and depend totally on Him. Sometimes this means giving piggy back rides and good night hugs and kisses, other times this means sitting next to a girl and step by step working through the homework that she really doesn’t want to do, and sometimes this even means disciplining a girl when she needs to learn that hitting another person or stealing is not loving or appropriate behavior. This opportunity to do my part and answer my call is what gets me out of bed in the morning every day, pushes me harder than I ever thought I could handle, and brings me so much peace, joy, laughter, and empathy throughout the day. I have the best job that I could have ever asked for and it is more than a job, it is my vocation, it is my call, it is my way to be one person God’s army, one hand or foot or even toe in the body of Christ that without it wouldn’t be the same.  

San Juan Bosco ... Ruega Por Nosotros (Pray for Us)

Maria Auxiliadora de los Cristianos ... Ruega Por Nosotros 

~Michelle~

A Smile, A Laugh, and A Simple Hola

Sorry this has taken so long but here is some of my first weeks experience here in Bolivia. Last Sunday morning (at 1am) I made it to Santa Cruz, Bolivia and was met at the airport by Hermana (Sister) Anita and Vivian (fellow Salesian Lay Missioner). I thought I was going to have to call them and possibly wait at the airport for a while so it was such a relief and joy to hear Vivian scream my name and see a nun on the other side of customs waving at me. After 22 hours of traveling it was nice to be able to talk to people in English. Driving from Santa Cruz to Montero I got so excited by the many stands on the side of the road, the crazy drivers, and funny speed bumps. The next day I went to mass with Vivian, Tom, Laura (VIDES missioners), and some of the children from Hogar Sogrado Corazon (Sacred Heart Orphanage). Even though I couldn't really converse with the children one of them grabbed my hand and sat next to me at mass. After mass we went to buy me a bus ticket to Cochabamba for that night because although it was an 8 hour bus ride they convinced me it was easier than flying. We also went out to lunch, made dinner together, and ate on the roof of the technical school. It was fun riding in my first taxi, truffi (white minivan that functions similar to a bus), and bus in Bolivia.

That night Tom came with me to the bus station (dirt parking lot outside of some stores) and I took off traveling across Bolivia in a super tall bus with seats that lay out. The next morning I got to the terminal in Cochabamba which was hustling and bustling with people and wandered around until I found Monica (current SLM at my hogar). She brought two girls from the Hogar with her and I was so excited to finally get there and to meet the girls. As we loaded all of my bags and ourselves into the truffi I knew I was so close to where I would call home for the next year. I saw Cochabamba centro for the first time as we drove through the city, then started driving on bumpy dirt roads, and finally by farms and only a few small stores until we arrived outside of Hogar Maria Auxiliadora, a large structure with a big metal door. Monica took me to my room and I took a nap since I hadn't had a full night of sleep in 4 nights. Waking around noon Monica came to get me to go to the Aspirantado (where the sister's live) for lunch and to meet the sisters. They were so welcoming just like everyone I had met in Bolivia so far and so very joyful and fun. Although it was hard to talk to them too a smile, laugh, and simple hola says and is still saying a thousand things, since my Spanish even after a week is still minimal.

Me and Monica with some Bolivian food

Three times during my first week we hopped on either the micro (big red bus) or truffi and went into the city. The first two times were to work on my new VISA which I need to be able to stay a year, to get some keys made for me, and to explore. There are people everywhere in the city, lots of tall buildings, some stores and restaurants, a few well groomed and decorated parks, and some very beautiful churches. Monica did all of my translating for me and was my wonderful tour guide. The third time we were in the city was on our way back from visiting the hogar that Monica was at her first year in Bolivia. We went to see the girls and also to bring two girls from our hogar to visit their sister. We walked around one of the parks, went into a Catholic church called Iglesia Del Hospicio where a wedding was just ending, finally got to go into the Santa Teresa Catedral, and ate some Popsicles which was a treat for the girls. It is always an adventure being there, experiencing the culture, and trying to run after truffis that drive by. 

Me and two of the girls from my Hogar in front of the church here in Itocta.

Being at the Hogar is such a joy, really busy, and one learning experience after another. From the first day the girls were really friendly and welcoming. They love to help out and a few have sat with me and tried to teach me some Spanish. In the beginning a connected most with the youngest girls (ages 6-11) because I could make a fish or monkey face, say the words in Spanish, and they laugh. When they cry I can joke about  eating their hands or speak obviously in terrible Spanish and they perk right up. In the afternoon when they get back from school they run and give me hugs. At night they want good night hugs, kisses on the cheek, and often me to sing to them. On the second day one of the girls told Monica, "tomorrow I'm going to introduce myself to Michelle" and now she is one of the girls that spends the most time with me. She is super cute, has glasses, takes her time to get things done, is really sensitive, but super sweet and loving. During the day I help the girls with getting dressed, homework, reading, and making sure they wash their clothes and do their chores. Even though I am still pretty bad at Spanish I now know the simple commands I need to instruct them, know the alphabet well enough to help them when they read to me (which they love to do), and help them with homework depending on how complicated it is. The little ones are so full of affection, love, giggles, and constantly yearning to be reminded how much they are worth. It is fun having them help me with Spanish and with many of the realities of life in Bolivia that I am not used to and don't understand. Some of the older girls have reached out to me and want to spend time joking around, talking, dancing, and being with me. Each day though I learn a few new names and new things about each of the girls knowing that they are all so complex, have experienced a lot, and beautifully and wonderfully made. 

We have all had a lot of fun together so far playing, dancing, singing, being silly. One of the girls asked Monica how to say clown in English and every time she saw me would say, “You are clown” and another one has decided to call me Michael because my name is hard to say in Spanish and there is a boy in her class whose name is Michael but spells it Michelle. There have already been two big celebrations since I got here. The first was Padre Pepe’s birthday. Padre is the Salesian priest from Italy that says mass for all of the three communities of sisters around Itocta, the pastor of a parish in the city, and really close to the girls (many think of him as their father). For the party each group of girls (little, middle school, and highschool) came up with a dance as a present to Padre. They practiced hard all week and Padre loved the dances. I danced to Waka Waka with the little kids (haha), the middle school girls did two Korean dances (they love Korean pop and dancing), and the highschool girls did a dance that Monica and another girl choreographed. We ate good food, put on a show, and celebrated Padre. The other celebration was the next morning. The Salesian school (and only school) in Itocta called Laura Vicuna (Salesian saint) is trying to raise money to finish building or adding onto the school so they put on a march and food festival. All of the children had to march in their uniforms by class to the school. There were also a couple bands marching and playing in the march. After the march classes had prepared food from different areas of Bolivia and it only cost 5 Bolivianos (less than a dollar) for a plate. All of the girls were marching and at the festival and I tried a plate which had fries, rib meat, rice, onions, and tomatoes. It was quite tasty and fun trying something new and different, which is the best way to describe the food here. Bolivians sure love to celebrate and will use any reason to have the most fun possible. They enjoy it so much that tonight is the first night I have not heard music from a party playing late into the night.  The work here takes up my time from the moment I wake up to the time they girls go to bed but it is work of prayer in action. I don't have a lot of time for myself or to be alone without one girl or another shouting my name but it is such meaningful work. I am blessed to be working with God's fragile little children and know that I am exactly where I need to and have been waiting to be for so long. 

Saint John Bosco...Pray for Us

Maria Auxiliadora de los Christianos...Pray for Us

~Michelle~